Parents of a child with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or Oppositional Defiant Disorder must search out schools and other community resources. Parents find themselves having to supervise, monitor, teach, organize, plan, structure, reward, punish, guide, buffer, protect and nurture their child far more than is demanded by the typical parent. Their lives are a balancing act in which they must juggle complex schedules.
However, raising a child with ADHD can elevate parenting to a higher plane and although extremely difficult usually provides tremendous opportunity for self-improvement and fulfillment as a parent.
A family with an ADHD or ODD child needs to take control of the situation:
- Be proactive. Seeing a situation from a reactive frame of mind can make things seem hopeless. Take the initiative to change what you do not like in the way you react to your child. Accept the responsibility to make the relationship happen in the way you want it to develop.
- Spend time with your child. Be with them for at least 20 minutes a day in a non-judgmental way. These children are always seeking your attention. You reconnect with your child when you spend quality time without giving directions or judgments.
- Be consistent. Children with ADHD lack the ability to plan, to be organized and stay focused. This creates confusion. Being consistent can help provide them with a safe structure and controlled environment so they can function on a more productive level.
- Plan with the end in mind – be goal oriented. Don’t just concentrate on what you want your child to do. Concentrate on setting up a behavioral management plan that is goal oriented and achievable. This enables a child to feel successful and improves self-esteem.
- Take care of yourself. Often parents of ADHD children devote too much of their time and energy to their children and in the process exhaust themselves. Failing to renew yourself physically, mentally, socially, emotionally and spiritually can cause you to shut down and have less time and energy to devote to your child. The best gift you can give yourself is the gift of self renewal.
Life may still feel like a balancing act but parents who rise to the occasion often feel a greater sense of accomplishment and bring parenting to a higher level.
Presented by Long Island Special Child,
Summer 2010.
